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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the words gen Z is using to talk about romance, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who opt out of having children to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal quirks signaling a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions confirm your decision to date a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately extinguish any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {